You might think I’m a fashionista based on how much I like to dress up my dog. Trust me, his clothing is for functional purposes only. When I think of Tock, I don’t consider what jacket he’s wearing, or if, in fact, he’s wearing anything at all. What is it about him that tells me there's more to him than that?
I agree with you. Although physically characterizing a protagonist can help a reader picture them and recall how they look, their mannerisms, demeanor, how they speak/act, what matters to them is what really sticks.
But when I think of Tock, I don’t consider what jacket he’s wearing, or if, in fact, he’s wearing anything at all. Instead, I recall the intent expression in his eyes as he switches his gaze back and forth between me and the object he wants me to throw. I think of his confidence when his ears and tail are upright, or his fear when he runs up to me, ears pressed back, tail between his legs. His boastfulness (and naughtiness) when he leaps up on me to show off the latest pinecone in his collection. His happiness to see me when he “grins” as I come in the door. His obsessive desire for toys exhibited by pawing at something, though often the thing he’s pawing isn’t the thing he actually wants. His desire to be as big a pest as possible and get me to pay attention to him either by standing at my elbow while I’m typing, or by diving between my legs while we’re on a walk. I’m not sure what he’s thinking when he sings along to my son’s clarinet and saxophone, but he’s adorable nonetheless.
Here's my redraft - imagine you are at a mountain home, your infrequent guest (he's a spy, he travels a lot in his work, but when he can, he comes to you ...) and you are a writer, sitting at your keyboard, these are the words you write:
But when I think of him, I don’t consider what jacket he’s wearing, or if, in fact, he’s wearing anything at all. Instead, I recall the intent expression in his eyes as he switches his gaze back and forth between me and the everything else in the room.
I think of his confidence when he grabs me and presses his attention – to me against a wall, or in a dark corner for those stolen moments away from the cacophony of the party. His boldness (and naughtiness) when he sneaks up on me to remind me how my pulse quickens to his touch.
My happiness to see him as he grins, as I come in the door. His obsessive desire for me, with or without any amusement from my bedside toy drawer, though often the thing he’s asking me for is not what he actually wants because he focuses more on my pleasure.
His desire to be the best lover possible is not pale compared to mine which I hide, even from him, whether I’m typing this scene in my my screenplay script, or when he is being a pesky nuisance – or when he is diving between my legs ….
I’m never sure what he’s thinking when he hums along to the sultry jazz tunes I have on, always, or anything else inane he might unexpectedly do, he's adorable nonetheless.
As I read that portion of your piece - and maybe it's because I've been immersed the last couple of hours writing some steamy / intrigue filled pages for my novel, so my mindset/libido might be as involved as much as my keyboard, so maybe this is a stretch, or maybe it's a writing prompt idea that might be explored - so rather than think about it as potential fun, I gave it a few minutes - and it was real fun.
Hand me down dog jackets. Love it. Apollo is a “wide load” and doesn’t fit into his predecessors jacket. His current jacket fits snugly and only when his fur is cut short. I love dog clothing. If I ever have a girl dog she will have all the princess accouterments. Hehehe.
I follow this generally, mentioning here and there a character's eye color or other appearance aspects, especially since sometimes they are part of that character's -- well, character! Same goes for apparel. A heroic figure in my WIPs wears jeans and T-shirts (and a plaid flannel shirt in cooler weather) in part as a way to show he is focused on other things that are important to him such as the joy he gets from being productive and no longer a leech on society. A villain, however, shows his inner security by wearing tailored suits, needing to be noticed, and otherwise being outwardly ostentatious.
I love how you use Tock to explain writing issues. They stick in my head so much better than the abstractions most people produce. And I love that Will fixed Moth's zipper, and that you can think of her when Tock wears the jacket. I also have harnesses (and crates for that matter) that are forever labeled as Zoney's or Blueberry's or...? I will think of your comments as I rewrite... Really insightful as always.
Oh my stars, that photo of him with his sleepy time Loveies is beyond adorable! I love your question, "What is it about him that tells me there's more to him than that?" That is such a great thing to ask myself about the characters and even the setting/places in stories. I gotta tell you, I'm glad you labeled that one photo as him being "happy" because those bare teeth were, uh, BIG!
My dog Copper often makes that tooth baring face when we come home. I've determined that he does it when we surprised him and he's saying "You caught me napping on the job."
I agree with you. Although physically characterizing a protagonist can help a reader picture them and recall how they look, their mannerisms, demeanor, how they speak/act, what matters to them is what really sticks.
I have nothing against a little physical description for that very reason. But you're absolutely right about that last thing you said!
Oh yes, especially when there's something fascinating about the physique, like a clock embedded, I mean how far-out is that!
I've copied this section quite randomly:
But when I think of Tock, I don’t consider what jacket he’s wearing, or if, in fact, he’s wearing anything at all. Instead, I recall the intent expression in his eyes as he switches his gaze back and forth between me and the object he wants me to throw. I think of his confidence when his ears and tail are upright, or his fear when he runs up to me, ears pressed back, tail between his legs. His boastfulness (and naughtiness) when he leaps up on me to show off the latest pinecone in his collection. His happiness to see me when he “grins” as I come in the door. His obsessive desire for toys exhibited by pawing at something, though often the thing he’s pawing isn’t the thing he actually wants. His desire to be as big a pest as possible and get me to pay attention to him either by standing at my elbow while I’m typing, or by diving between my legs while we’re on a walk. I’m not sure what he’s thinking when he sings along to my son’s clarinet and saxophone, but he’s adorable nonetheless.
Here's my redraft - imagine you are at a mountain home, your infrequent guest (he's a spy, he travels a lot in his work, but when he can, he comes to you ...) and you are a writer, sitting at your keyboard, these are the words you write:
But when I think of him, I don’t consider what jacket he’s wearing, or if, in fact, he’s wearing anything at all. Instead, I recall the intent expression in his eyes as he switches his gaze back and forth between me and the everything else in the room.
I think of his confidence when he grabs me and presses his attention – to me against a wall, or in a dark corner for those stolen moments away from the cacophony of the party. His boldness (and naughtiness) when he sneaks up on me to remind me how my pulse quickens to his touch.
My happiness to see him as he grins, as I come in the door. His obsessive desire for me, with or without any amusement from my bedside toy drawer, though often the thing he’s asking me for is not what he actually wants because he focuses more on my pleasure.
His desire to be the best lover possible is not pale compared to mine which I hide, even from him, whether I’m typing this scene in my my screenplay script, or when he is being a pesky nuisance – or when he is diving between my legs ….
I’m never sure what he’s thinking when he hums along to the sultry jazz tunes I have on, always, or anything else inane he might unexpectedly do, he's adorable nonetheless.
As I read that portion of your piece - and maybe it's because I've been immersed the last couple of hours writing some steamy / intrigue filled pages for my novel, so my mindset/libido might be as involved as much as my keyboard, so maybe this is a stretch, or maybe it's a writing prompt idea that might be explored - so rather than think about it as potential fun, I gave it a few minutes - and it was real fun.
Hope you enjoy.
Cheers,
Mark
haha, I'd never figured Tock to be the hero in a steamy romance before!
Hand me down dog jackets. Love it. Apollo is a “wide load” and doesn’t fit into his predecessors jacket. His current jacket fits snugly and only when his fur is cut short. I love dog clothing. If I ever have a girl dog she will have all the princess accouterments. Hehehe.
I know someone whose Pomeranians all have pink collars, pink leashes ... and even a pink baby stroller. A bit much, perhaps!
Laugh emoji.
I follow this generally, mentioning here and there a character's eye color or other appearance aspects, especially since sometimes they are part of that character's -- well, character! Same goes for apparel. A heroic figure in my WIPs wears jeans and T-shirts (and a plaid flannel shirt in cooler weather) in part as a way to show he is focused on other things that are important to him such as the joy he gets from being productive and no longer a leech on society. A villain, however, shows his inner security by wearing tailored suits, needing to be noticed, and otherwise being outwardly ostentatious.
You are so right. Sometimes those tiny details about clothing can help portray a character's personality. Thanks for reading!
Excellent reminders, Wendy! Adorable "Prince of Pillows" photo!
Thanks so much for reading it Carol! Glad you liked the pic.
I love how you use Tock to explain writing issues. They stick in my head so much better than the abstractions most people produce. And I love that Will fixed Moth's zipper, and that you can think of her when Tock wears the jacket. I also have harnesses (and crates for that matter) that are forever labeled as Zoney's or Blueberry's or...? I will think of your comments as I rewrite... Really insightful as always.
Thanks for reading and enjoying my essays, as usual, Suzy!
Oh my stars, that photo of him with his sleepy time Loveies is beyond adorable! I love your question, "What is it about him that tells me there's more to him than that?" That is such a great thing to ask myself about the characters and even the setting/places in stories. I gotta tell you, I'm glad you labeled that one photo as him being "happy" because those bare teeth were, uh, BIG!
It's hard to capture in a photo - I must say I was surprised at how big they looked when I finally saw it as a still shot!
Ah, this is just lovely. Thank you.
My dog Copper often makes that tooth baring face when we come home. I've determined that he does it when we surprised him and he's saying "You caught me napping on the job."
They do look kind of bashful when they do it, right?
Ah, thanks for reading! And of course my heart melts when anyone compliments my dog.